Walls
by sockospice
Summary: Evan just gets on with things, he's strong, he doesn't want people to see what's inside. But someone sees anyway. Randy Orton/Evan Bourne. Slash one shot.


Title: Walls (1/1)

Rating: PG

Pairing: Randy/Evan

Content: Angst, fluff

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue

Summary: Evan just gets on with things, until someone offers him the opportunity to let down his walls.

Evan rested his head against the cold brickwork that constituted yet another faceless, nameless locker room. His head ached. His body ached. His jaw ached from forcing himself to smile and give everyone the impression everything was ok. He savoured the silence, rare as it was in the backstage environment: there was always someone around giving their opinion, sharing unasked-for advice. Sometimes all Evan wanted was a little bit of peace and quiet, but no one seemed to understand that.

Just because he gave the impression that he was always happy and on top of the world, and just because he enjoyed conversations with people, learning more about them and the world, didn't mean that he wanted every minute of his day filled with noise. Especially not right now. Not when his head was so full of conflicting voices and hopes and fears and he wasn't sure what to listen to or where to go. He knew he had things to work out, pressures to deal with, and longed for the opportunity to do that. The opportunity that, like so many others, eluded him.

The young high flyer heard footsteps and let the mask fall back into place. He forced a smile and started to sort out his bag ready to go back to the hotel. He'd recognised the footsteps as his lover's and knew he would want to get out of there as soon as possible. He hadn't exactly had a fantastic day either.

"Ev, give me five minutes and I'll be ready," Randy threw his bag onto the bench and rapidly stripped off his trunks, pausing briefly to press a kiss to Evan's forehead. He didn't bother with a shower, instead just throwing on some briefs and sweatpants, with one of his own RKO t shirts."I've just got to make a quick call, ok?"

"Sure," Evan sighed and closed his eyes, hardly noticing Randy leaving the room and certainly not straining to hear the conversation the older man was having. He didn't even notice Randy come back into the room and kneel in front of him.

"You don't have to pretend to be superman you know, no matter how much you fly around that ring."

Evan's eyes opened in surprise, and a rueful smile crossed his face, "who said I was?"

"I know you. I know that you're exhausted physically and mentally. I know you plaster on that gorgeous smile of yours because you don't want anyone to think less of you, and you don't want people to know how stressed you are. I know that Mike's been making digs at you that are really getting to you despite you pretending they don't. I know you're pissed off that your push went nowhere. I know you." Randy's hand gently rubbed the back of Evan's neck. "I'm also pretty pissed off that you've tried to hide all this from me, but I understand why so I'll let you off this once." The soft, caring smile that Randy so rarely revealed belied the warning in the words.

"Sorry," Evan looked a little sheepish but his face broke into the first genuine smile of the day. He should have known his lover would have picked up on the little hints he tried to hide but couldn't help but drop.

"No apologies needed. Now, you and I are going back to the hotel, and we are gonna talk and then you are gonna let me do my thing and no arguments, right?" Randy stood up and held out his hand, "come on, let's get the hell out of here."

* * *

Evan lay on his front on the bed, groaning softly, Randy's long fingers and talented hands easing all of the stress and tension out of his shoulders. The man had a gentle touch that belied his size and on screen attitude, a sensual, soft side that he rarely showed except to those who he trusted deeply.

Randy could tell from Evan's demeanour that he was now relaxed enough to talk about what was bothering him, and began to speak softly, "Mike's a dick, why do you even listen to what he's saying?"

"I don't, he just... frustrates me. All I want is to knock him out, but I'd rather not get fired, I'm not exactly in the best position at the moment, am I?"

"They haven't forgotten your push you know? They're just holding off so you don't get lost in the shuffle they've got going on. I spoke to Hunter the other week and he's still high on you."

"Really?" Evan turned slightly to look at his lover, surprise written all over his face. "Are you sure?"

"Why is it so hard to believe that people are behind you?" Randy kept his voice calm, and continued massaging his young lover's shoulders. Evan was such a confident and strong young man Randy found it difficult to reconcile that image with the self conscious and worried boy he held in his arms every night.

The high flyer sighed, "I guess I just got used to having to fight to get anywhere. Right from the start I've had to prove myself over and over... and fighting constantly is so tiring... and there's never been anyone there who believed in me."

Randy knew that Evan had been burned too many times – it was a conversation they'd had early on in their relationship, concerned as he had been that the young man was holding back, as if he was scared to trust. And he had been. It had taken time and patience to break down his walls and Randy was damned if he was going to let those barriers build back up again. He was so lost in his determination he almost missed Evan turning round again and with a smile in his eyes whispering softly, "until I met you."

"You know that's true," Randy moved to kneel on the bed and pulled Evan up into his arms, needing the body to body contact, needing to convey the depth and intensity of his feelings for this man. "You amaze me each and every day."

Evan just snuggled closer, his arms around Randy's neck, head buried into his shoulder. Suddenly he felt as if he could just let go, and sobs started to wrack through his body. Randy just held him tightly, knowing that this was what Evan needed. He needed to get out the frustration, fear and anger that he'd been holding inside, and finally he felt comfortable enough and safe enough that he could let go in Randy's arms and his lover wouldn't laugh at him, or shout or get angry. Randy just held him, one strong hand holding him close, the other skimming tenderly up and down Evan's back.

Slowly, Evan's breathing calmed and he felt himself relaxing in his lover's arms. A tiny little part of him was amazed that Randy was still there, but he swallowed that feeling and shyly looked up at the Viper.

Randy put one finger to Evan's lip and shook his head, "don't even say it. No apologies Ev. I should be thanking you."

"What for?" Evan's voice was croaky from the tears that still sparkled in his eyes.

"For trusting me."

The smile that split Evan's face made Randy's heart soar. He gently kissed his forehead, his swollen eyes, his tear-stained cheeks, and then those beautiful, smiling lips that enthralled him.

"Ev, you remember I made a phone call earlier?" Evan nodded, a bemused look on his face, "I was just cancelling my plans for the weekend. I want to be with you. Will you let me?"

The sun in all its glory could not have matched the blinding smile that appeared on Evan's face. He realised that Randy genuinely knew him, cared for him and loved him as much as he professed, and he realised that he didn't have to keep things inside any more.

"Thank you," Evan whispered. "I love you."

"I love you too. Never forget that."


End file.
